Sasuke, Sakura, and the very awkward mission
by smileygirl121
Summary: Sakura hasn't seen him in 2 years. He walks in on her doing some interesting "activities". They are deployed as co-stripper act to gain intel across the Lands. What could be weird about that? There will be lemon. There will be a pretty mediocre story line. But most of all there will be awkwardness. SasuSaku! with appearances from all the main cannon couples.
1. Chapter 1

**Note**. I do not own the world of Naruto. It belongs to Kishimoto. ALSO This is my first story so there will be grammar mistakes and misspellings. Leave a review if you like it. Maybe a 3-shot. Maybe a full novel. Depends on how you guys like it ;)

_Sakura's thoughts_

**Sasuke's thoughts**

After an excruciating day at work, Sakura returned to her apartment and plopped onto her pink suede loveseat. She rubbed her temples recounting the horrendous day she had just had at the hospital. One of her patients bled out on the table because their injuries were too severe. She spent a total of 19 hours on her feet with less than a 15-minute lunch break. Her shoulders were hard as cement and her feet begged to be rubbed. Hell, her entire body was begging to be rubbed.

_Maybe I should have some "alone time" in the bathtub…Kami knows I deserve it. _

A small smirk appeared on her face as she scurried to the well-lit bathroom. While she ran the bath, she undressed and put on a silky blue robe that cut-off mid-thigh. She lit a candle that smelled of pinot noir and poured herself a glass of the wine as well. She giggled to herself. She was the biggest lightweight she knew… Maybe not as bad as Lee-kun, but still one glass would get her tipsy. And she deserved to get a bit tipsy. She also popped one of her medical-strength sleeping pills. It took about an hour to take effect, which would allow her to safely get to bed after a quick bath time. She needed it to ease her to sleep after this hellish day.

_It is the weekend after all. Maybe I'll have a few drinks and finally read one of those books Kakashi got me for my birthday._

Her cheeks burned red. The bath was finally ready. She dimmed the lights, dropped her robe onto the bathroom floor, and stepped into the steamy bathtub. The entire room was clouded with steam. She let out a small moan as the hot water started to undo the day's stress. She sunk her full body into the tub, just leaving her arms out so she could read and drink. "Okay, let's see what Kakashi has been reading all of these years during our training…" she mumbled to herself. She flipped to a random page in 'Make-out paradise'. Sakura read the first line her eyes spotted: "…he slowly stroked her trembling thighs, building the tension between them." Sakura turned tomato red.

_What a perv! I can't believe he would read this kind of stuff in the presence of Naruto, Sasuke, and I. Kami! We were children too – what if we got a hold of it._

She shook her head… but kept on reading. As the intensity of the passionate romance scene intensified. She couldn't help but think of a special someone.

It had been years since Sasuke left Konoha to atone for his sins, but he still lingered in her mind. Actually, she couldn't get him the hell out of her mind. When he was leaving Konoha, he poked her forehead and told her maybe she could accompany him on his next trip. The memory plays over and over again in her mind daily.

_What did Sasuke-kun mean? Him and I…alone…wandering the Great Lands. _

Sakura knew Sasuke intended to re-build his clan one day and for that he'd certainly need a woman. She'd taken enough anatomy courses to know that much. But Sasuke's erratic behaviour made her doubt whether he would want her to be that woman.

Sakura kept reading the smutty novel, occasionally sipping on her wine. She knew she shouldn't. But her fingers uncontrollably reached down to pleasure herself as she continued to read Kakashi's pervy book. Sakura imagined it was Sasuke's calloused hand stroking her bare thigh moving higher…and higher up her leg. She imagined it was Sasuke's fingers teasing the edges of her panties as he slyly smirked at her. She imagined it was Sasuke's thumb that rubbed against her clit as his pointer finger curled inside of her, pressing against her G-spot. Sakura was building. Her fingers rapidly drew circles on her most sensitive area. She had dropped Kakashi's pervy book and began to instinctively thrust her hips as she approached climax.

And with a moan she seductively exhaled his name: "Oh, Sasuke-kun"

"Sakura, what the hell are you-" said an unexpected voice.

Sakura screeched realizing someone else was in the bathroom. In less than a second, she wrapped a towel around herself and roundhouse kicked the intruder in the ribs using the full-force of her chakra control. "CHANNNNNARRROOOO" she screamed with rage. The nameless intruder flew across the floor and skidded outside the bathroom into the hall. The person lay lifeless turned away from Sakura. As Sakura's blinding anger lessened, she looked at the unconscious intruder on the floor. Upon closer inspection she recognized a familiar raven hairdo. Though it was a little shaggier than she remembered. That's when it hit her.

"Sasuke?" Sakura gasped covering her mouth.

Sakura was paralyzed with a 'deer in the headlights' expression. She had lost the ability to breathe. Sasuke. Me. Naked. Maybe she's lost it, how many glasses of wine has she had?

_It's all in my head. He's not real. I'm sleep deprived and tipsy. This is an hallucination. One of the side effects of the sleeping pills is hallucinations. Shit, I need to take more time off. _

Sakura closed her eyes and focused on using her chakra flow to sober up. It was easy to amass chakra as she hadn't released the pent-up energy from her bathtub "activities". Her guilt of thinking about Sasuke in such a sexy context must have manifested in this uber-realistic hallucination. She exhaled and reached out to her hallucination so she could wave it away. Sakura's jaw hit the floor. Her hand immediately felt his chakra as she touched his face. His real chakra.

_Oh Kami, he's real. I haven't seen him in 2 years and he literally just saw me touch myself and moan his name. Let me die now._

The stressful experience accelerated her heartrate so severely that the substances in her body had expedited effects. Everything went black. And with a thud, Sakura passed out on the floor next to Sasuke.

~ Several minutes later ~

Sasuke groaned as he began to regain consciousness. Sasuke opened his eyes and his sharingan immediately activated. He jumped back about 4 feet ready to defend himself against his attacker. His eyes landed on the unconscious pink-haired kunoichi who was dripping wet and wrapped in a small towel. **Fuck, SO small.** Sasuke's eyes trailed up and down her body once or twice with his mouth slightly hung open. This was not what he had expected to find when Tsunade-sama had ordered him to retrieve Sakura for a mission.

*Flashback*

"Sasuke, you are probably wondering why I urgently requested for your return. I have a mission request I wish for you to complete. Sakura will be your partner as it is likely there will be many injuries and her medical ninja skills may prove to be useful. However, before I tell you the details you must find Sakura and bring her here. Please be hasty. I expect you back in under 15 minutes" Hokage Tsunade ordered with her arms crossed in front of her bosom.

*Flashback ended*

Sasuke realized he was still ogling Sakura's body, which was highly inappropriate considering her mental state. He swiftly removed his black cloak and covered her nakedness, partially out of respect for her and partially to avoid temptation. Sasuke was talented at suppressing his hormonal urges, but Sakura's smooth and wet skin was proving to be a problem for even him.

**Why own a towel if it can't even cover your ass cheeks and cleavage at the same time.**

He leaned over her and lightly tapped her rosy cheeks. Sasuke huffed, "Hn…". Sakura was completely knocked out – her exhaustion probably contributing to the mix.

**Sakura…**

What was he to do in this situation? Tsunade expected him to be swift. Well the only medical ninja better than Sakura was Tsunade, so maybe she could help out. Sasuke shyly secured his cloak around the unconscious naked Sakura and lifted her up bridal style. He winced slightly from his newly bruised ribs courtesy of Ms. Sakura Haruno. And with that he stormed out of the house.

Villagers were gasping at the sight of the infamous Uchiha carrying the well-loved unconscious Sakura. It was apparent she was naked under his cloak because it had slid up her leg while he carried her. One particular villager caught sight of this and turned white with anger.

"Sasuke, what the hell do you think you are doing with Sakura-chan?" a fuming Ino exclaimed. Her usually blue, cool eyes had a tint of fire in them as she processed a bare, unconscious Sakura wrapped in Sasuke's cloak. Villagers began to gather to observe the confrontation. Sasuke quickly assessed the situation and decided to take the best course of action. He began sprinting to Tsunade's office tightly holding Sakura in his arms. A public confrontation would only result in more people getting involved and staring at the vulnerable Sakura. Ino was completely shocked by his sudden outburst and took a minute to recalibrate. She began following after him using full ninja-style strides. "Get back here! Sasuke, if you laid a FINGER on her unconscious body, I will STERILIZE you and eliminate the Uchiha clan FOR GOOD!".

Sasuke flew by Naruto, Sai, Lee, and Shikamaru who were exiting Ichiraku. Their mouths all dropped.

"Say…was that Sasuke?! carrying Sakura?!…Naked…?!" Naruto exclaimed in disbelief.

Then Ino stormed past them screaming "I'm going to fuck you up Sasuke."

Shikamaru rubbed his forehead trying to conceive an explanation for what he was witnessing.

"Naruto, is this the prelude to the human mating behaviour called a 'three-some' that you were telling me about?" Sai innocently asked.

"If they are to engage in a youthful physical act of love, I will gladly volunteer my body!" Lee exclaimed and started running after Ino, Sasuke, and the still unconscious Sakura.

"Well I don't know what's happening but I feel we should at least confirm that Sakura is not in any immediate danger so we should follow her." Shikamaru stated. The three remaining boys ran to catch up with the rest.

Meanwhile

The Lady Hokage poured herself some hard liquor as she waited for Sasuke to return with Sakura. This was taking much longer than she had requested and she was displeased. She thought that Sasuke had returned a reliable man. But maybe this isn't the case. She sighed and sat back into her big leather chair and turned to face the window overlooking Konoha. The sunset was breathtakingly peaceful…

CRASH!

Sasuke was glistening with sweat and breathing heavily as he bursted into the Hokage's office. Tsunade turned around ready to lecture him about timeliness but her jaw dropped. In front of her was Sasuke Uchiha holding a limp Sakura Haruno. She was wrapped in his cloak but from the amount of leg showing it was obvious she was not clothed underneath. With a calm rage Tsunade questioned: "Sasuke… What is-"

Before she could finish her question, the out-of-breath Yamanaka woman appears yelling "Ninja art: Mind transfer jutsu!" Sasuke's body jerked as Ino's consciousness took over and Ino's now empty body slouched against the wall. Ino-Sasuke gently put Sakura on the ground, then took Sasuke's shirt off and wrapped Sakura's semi-exposed legs with it. "Tsunade-sama, I think Sasuke may have been trying to violate Sakura-chan so he put her under a genjutsu." Ino-Sasuke proclaimed. Ino-Sasuke leaned into his hip, a typical Ino stance, but it was shocking seeing Sasuke's body positioned so feminine-like.

Tsunade opened her mouth to say something, but right on time Rock Lee bursts into the room with his usual body-tight green suit halfway unzipped. "I am ready to explore the passionate fire of springtime love!" Tsunade and Ino-Sasuke both were left speechless.

Naruto, Shikamaru, and Sai arrived through the window, riding on one of Sai's ninja art flying birds. "HEY now what's going o-" Naruto was cut-off by the image. Ino passed out. Sakura passed out. Naked. Sasuke with his hand on his hip looking girly. But the most shocking thing of all was Rock Lee.

In front of the group, Rock Lee displayed the most defined pectoral and abdominal muscles that any of them had ever seen. He might as well have been an underwear model. "Lee, your body…" Ino-Sasuke had a blush forming (aka Sasuke's shirtless body was blushing staring at Rock Lee). "Sasuke…is this why you never returned Sakura's attention? I see she wasn't your… type." Naruto sheepishly asks without realizing Ino had mind transferred.

"I hope the threesome begins soon. I would greatly like to observe it." Sai said with his weird, genuine smile.

Shikamaru was so still you'd think he was under his own shadow possession jutsu. He lowered his head blushing from Sai's comment.

For the final cherry on top, Kakashi walks in to turn some paperwork over to the Hokage. He freezes and stares for about 30 seconds. Kakashi makes eye contact with Lady Tsunade as if to ask if he should get involved, but Tsunade lightly shook her head. He backs away and closes the door.

"ENOUGH" Tsunade yelled. Everyone shivered and turned their attention. "Ino, return to your body! Lee zip up, none of us asked for a strip show! If you are not Sakura Haruno or Sasuke Uchiha, LEAVE."

The boys scurried out. Ino returned to her body and Sai picked her up and exited with the rest of everyone. As Sasuke reclaimed himself, he instinctively jumped in front of Sakura and withdrew a kunai to protect her.

Tsunade grumbled something about "…damned idiots…" then squatted by Sakura's body to treat her. Tsunade's chakra poured into Sakura and cleared her of any remaining sleeping pill effects.

Sakura stirred and woke up, pushing herself to a sitting position. When it was clear Sakura was fine, Tsunade's concern faded and she smirked over at Sasuke. "Well, I didn't think you'd get her naked that quickly. I owe Kakashi a ramen."


	2. Chapter 2

**Note. **I still do not own Naruto. Just this poorly written fanfiction. Honestly, why are you guys reading this. Hopefully, if I keep writing this my grammar and story-writing will improve. It'll probably get worse. ANYWAYS thanks for the reviews that were left and for the messages.

_Sakura's thoughts_

**Sasuke's thoughts**

Throwback from last episode:

Sakura stirred and woke up, pushing herself to a sitting position. When it was clear Sakura was fine, Tsunade's concern faded and she smirked over at Sasuke. "Well, I didn't think you'd get her naked that quickly. I owe Kakashi a ramen."

As Sakura came to, she saw a snickering Tsunade and a blushing Sasuke. That's when all the memories came back to her. The bathtub._ I need to leave Konoha, change my name, and adopt a new identity under a transformation jutsu. It's the only option._ As she was pondering what new name to give herself, she realized something. _Why am I in Tsunade's office?_ _And what am I wearing…? _Her wiry fingers pulled the collar of the cloak forward and she gazed down. _NAKED?!_ "Why am I un-clothed outside of my house?!" the blushing kunoichi yelled. "Ask Sasuke," Tsunade said with a wink. Sasuke and Sakura made eye contact for a second then both looked down blushing furiously.

Sasuke had forgotten how beautiful Sakura was. He'd think of her often on his journey. He had been approached by many sensual tavern women, but not one had the same appeal as Sakura. He internally smirked thinking about Sakura fantasizing about him. It filled him with pride. And lust. The sexual tension was urging him to just pin Sakura to the desk. **Hn…**

Sakura couldn't help it, but she could feel her heart fluttering. She had been in love with Sasuke for almost a decade. And now here he is. His dark hair, his sharp jawline, his defined muscles; it was enough to make any girl swoon. But this was not how she pictured their reunion. Sakura had imagined preparing a delicious curry to welcome him back. She would have worn something that accentuated her curves, but that was still respectable. Sakura would have asked him about all his adventures, maybe she'd playfully touch his defined chest. Or lick it. Either one. Then after a drink or two, they'd get closer and closer and start touching…

"Sakura! Sasuke! Pay attention! This is no time to get lost in your kinky fantasies. You and Sasuke are to depart on a very important mission. One that only the two of you can complete." Tsunade commanded while handing Sakura a fresh change of clothes. Sakura and Sasuke immediately snapped out of their daydreams and focused their attention on Tsunade.

"I have received intel that black market ninja tools and headbands are being sold at illicit auctions. Obviously, this is a treacherous situation. There have been a number of robberies committed where the robber disguised himself as a Leaf village ninja. This puts distrust in the hearts of the citizens. They are becoming afraid of the very organization that exists to protect them. There are various reports of these auctions happening around the outskirts of Konoha. We don't have a lead on the exact locations, but we know how to get information. This is where you two come in," Tsunade paused.

"On behalf of your village, I need you two to tour around underground strip taverns impersonating adult dancers. You will be able to glean information about where these black-market auctions are taking place."

"No" Sasuke stated flatly. He was a ninja not a stripper for crying out loud. "Sasuke, you don't have a choice. Konoha doesn't exactly have any other young couples to fill the role. Naruto and Hinata are sweet, but Hinata would pass out from embarrassment every few seconds and Naruto dances like a middle-aged dad. Shikamaru and Temari, well, let's just say we aren't going for a scary dominatrix woman and submissive man vibe. Lee has a strangely sexy body, but he also weirds out every woman in his vincinity. And Ino is, well, obviously very attractive. But Sai…"

Tsunade, Sakura, and Sasuke imagined Sai shimmying in a man thong with his creepy smile. All of them shivered.

"But Tsunade, Sasuke and I aren't a couple," Sakura said averting eye contact.

"That makes it even BETTER. The sexual tension between you two is tangible. And perfect for a co-act strip performance. I mean, Sasuke hasn't even been home an hour and he's brought you here naked. Kakashi will help you prepare for this mission as he is…rather educated…in these matters," Tsunade said with a giggle.

Sakura couldn't believe it, but she nodded. This was her duty as a ninja after all.

**Shit.** Sasuke let out a small annoyed groan, but then also nodded.

The two ninjas exited the Hokage's office. In the hallway, Sakura quickly ran to the bathroom and changed into the pair of clothes she was given. When she came back Sasuke was still stood there, leaning against the wall with a sly look in his eyes. "Here's your cloak back, and I'm sorry about what you saw earlier in my house…I was just-" Sasuke put his arm on the other side of Sakura, hovering over her and pinning her against the wall. His body was millimetres away from grinding against her. They were frozen and silent for a moment, then Sasuke exhaled a "Hn", grabbed the cloak, and started to walk away briskly. Right before he exited the building, he cocked his head back slightly and with a smirk said, "Sakura, I recommend you buy a bigger towel." With that, Sasuke left Sakura feeling dumbfounded.

_He did not just "Hn" me and leave. What a bastard. I was wrong about him he is a selfish prick. And a pervert! It's his fault for sneaking into MY bathroom. _Sakura was cursing Sasuke out in her head when she stumbled into Ino and Sai eating dinner at Ichiraku.

"Oh my gosh Sakura-chan, all the teams are talking about your raunchy mission with Sasuke," Ino exclaimed. "Maybe you'll finally get some after all these years," she said with a wink. "Ugly, I hope you engage in intercourse with Mr. Sasuke, because it might help reduce the stress-wrinkles forming on your wide forehead," Sai said with an endearing look. Sakura rolled her eyes.

"He's a dick. He left me with hope when he left 2 years ago, but now he's returned, and he won't even hold a conversation with me." Sakura scowled.

"I can still kick his ass for you. Sai can help," Ino asked, secretly excited at the prospect of punching out the Uchiha for rejecting her for all those years.

Sakura considered it for a second but shook her head "It's my own fault for expecting Sasuke to be something he's not. I just can't believe even NARUTO has found someone, and I'm still single. Like Naruto was supposed to end up a creepy old pervert like Jiraiya!". "Whatever, I need to go to bed, I have an early morning with Kaka-sensei tomorrow." Sakura groaned and walked off to get some rest.

Meanwhile in the Uchiha home

Sasuke kept re-imagining the way he had found Sakura in her bathroom, moaning his name. He had to leave her quick or he would've devoured her right there in the Hokage's building. He wanted to kiss her innocent lips and graze his hands across all the curves of her body. He loved how nervous she got around him. It turned him on. **Maybe this mission won't be so bad after all…**

*knock knock* "SSAaaSukkEEEE" a very drunk voice groaned. Sasuke jumped to his front door and peered through the peephole to see a very intoxicated Naruto Uzumaki being held up by an annoyed Shikamaru. Sasuke opened the door hesitantly. "He wouldn't stop begging for us to bring him here so he can tell you some big news," Shikamaru said with an annoyed expression. Sasuke just stared. The two intruders barged into Sasuke's house and Shikamaru dropped the Uzumaki on the couch.

"You should leave," Sasuke communicated.

"Apparently, Naruto wants you to be the first to know something. He wouldn't shut up about it at the bar"

Naruto sat up suddenly and with tears in his eyes declared: "Sasuke-kun, Shikamaru-kun," the two ninjas winced at hearing the pet name coming from their intoxicated friend, "I am going to be a daddy. Hinata just told me this morning."

Both Shikamaru and Sasuke looked at each other and back at Naruto in shock. "Well…congratulations," Sasuke muttered, forcing the words out. Shikamaru was turning pale colours. The thought of having to police another Naruto was more than Shikamaru could handle. "I wanted you to be the first to know, teme. You'll be the baby's godfather of course… but now I need to go tend to my beautiful pregnant Hinata-chan." And with that Naruto sat up and ran out of the Uchiha mansion, dragging poor Shikamaru behind by the arm.

**This day has been something else. **Sasuke was feeling something strange. Jealousy? The thought of Naruto starting a family with a woman he loved was making Sasuke angry. While both him and Naruto grew up alone, Naruto had found family in friendship. And now he was creating his own family. Sasuke had always intended to save his clan and procreate, but always thought of it as a distant goal. Now his rival and closest friend was having a child.

Sasuke grumbled and went to bed. He has a mission to prepare for. He doesn't have time for these feelings.

Meanwhile in Kakashi's home

Kakashi just got off the phone with Tsunade. He wiggled his eyebrows. He'd been wanting to set up Sasuke and Sakura since they were genin. This was going to be fun…

**ENDNOTE. **I like collaboration. If you guys have some fun ideas you want incorporated into this story, message me and I'll consider tying them in.


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